Online dating websites offer opportunities for men to connect with other men is five times more likely to cheat than a man with an equal wage. Around 16 percent of women, 20 percent of men, and 25 percent of "Because so many singles utilize dating apps, they've become a standard. I recently went on the "cheating" dating site Ashley Madison while gathering information for my eBook on online dating. And wow — what an.
But, I was thrilled by the ultimatum given to the company by the hackers, because offering escapades to a married person having marriage trouble is like offering booze to an alcoholic. Please join me for a free webinar which is specifically for women whose husbands are unfaithful. Some smart men got scared; good! This article is not to proselytize, but to save marriages.
Use your discovery as a wake-up call, and call to action; not a reason to end your marriage. Cheating of any kind, to any degree, is immoral, but It does not have to spell the end of your marriage; not by any means.
This should help you with both. The shock and disappointment you feel now or the numbness will take some time to get over, but it always passes. I promise; you will get past this. But I do not want you to think it will pass, and everything will automatically be okay. If you do not change the underlying dynamics of your marriage, which you can accomplish without his involvement, this, and other problems, will keep cropping up again, and again.
The ONLY thing that will work long term is to change the underlying dynamics of your marriage My ONLY desire is to help you get your marriage back, and we are very good at that. We have helped countless women do so; ones who were told it was impossible by others.
It is not easy to hear that your husband would not have strayed if your marriage was better. But if you pretend things at home were fine until he strayed you are fooling yourself. Things were NOT fine! If they were, and he thought so too, he would cherish you and never do anything to hurt you. His straying is a wake up call, or a death knell; that is up to you. Do nothing positive and proactive and your marriage will keep getting worse; guaranteed. But if you take positive action you will not only save your marriage, but you will be able to have a great marriage; I promise you that, too.
It is up to you. Marriage is the deepest and most holy relationship you will probably ever have. It is between two souls. It means the pure soul of each of you is supposed to utilize your mind, your body, and your self control for the purpose of expressing love, in ways not possible in any other relationship; marriage is the perfect hive for that.
Those couples who live in such a sweet loving marriage never consider cheating.
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Not because it is immoral, but because their hearts minds and souls are so full of love that the thought never enters into their mind. The other reasons, which follow, are trite in comparison. True, some men never should have gotten married. Those few are cursed with true mental disorders, or are evil a hard bar to reach. But in the vast majority of cases this kind of thing is very healable.
When handled right, the men come back to their senses. This article is not for you if where you want to start, and end, is with condemnation of your husband. That would mean you already decided your marriage is over.
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We want your marriage to be resuscitated and set back on track; to be better than ever. That approach is neither realistic or permanent. You will learn to understand him, his weaknesses, and how he succumbed. Otherwise you will never be able to forgive what he did.
Understanding is essential in marriage, anyway. So it is a power you will also use to build your marriage. What you should do now, and in the future This is the main purpose of the article.
The emotional impact, although destabilizing, has to be set aside, best you can, using both techniques, and the great alchemist; time. You will get started on that pathway. You have to get back on track Why should you save your marriage? Just for the kids?
It takes a real commitment to put the time and effort into healing, so whatever incentive works for you; go with it. If you already did something, you cannot undo it. Do not confront your husband Confrontation causes people to dig their hole even deeper. We want to bring you two closer to having a good marriage, not further apart. If you ignore this warning, or already confronted him, there are possibilities you can expect. He will lie — lying is the most common reaction.
It is a primal defense; to run away from danger. And, because he has already been lying it is what straying is, in a way it is pretty easy to just go deeper into the lies.
He will make impossible-to-keep promises — i. I made a mistake, it will never happen again most commonlets work on our marriage…etc. Unless the dynamics of your marriage change, what you have now, is what you will always have.
He will blame; you, your parents, the girl at the office, or… you get the picture. Nobody behaves well when confronted. Pointing these out to him will backfire! Do not tell anyone what he did This is a cardinal rule for marriage, anyway. Marriage is a closed-off-to-the-world deal. Only the two of you are ever supposed to know what is going on within your marriage, and that practical rule is especially true for your problems.
Hide any and all marital problems from your kids You are supposed to provide an ultra safe environment, as in cocoon safe, for your children. Your marriage is not meant to be shared with your children, but provide the love, examples training and security they need. You should NEVER criticize or condemn your husband, anyway; but especially in front of your children. I used to be among the very few who advised against confrontation, condemnation, and venting. Thank God more people are getting wiser!
But, the anger will subside.
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You will be able to forgive him, and your life will not end. The above keeps you from making things even worse. You may write in to us if you would like to understand better, or if you have any other questions about your marriage. Our specially trained counselors can explain whatever you need.
It is what we are here for. But they succumb to temptations. It is a bad choice. You also have a choice; right now. You have two general perspectives to choose from Judge your husband. Which will move your marriage to its end. Which will begin the shift towards a good marriage. It means they ARE judging, and choose to not allow any understanding driven compassion and forgiveness into their heart.
None of that works.
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- Why do men use dating sites and cheat
If you ever want a fulfilling marriage, with love as its core, you will need to make some big shifts in your thinking and changes in your behaviors.
It is worth it! It is not ignoring or accepting the grotesqueness of the offence, which never has to be done, as much as it is about opening your heart. You may want to react. You may get defensive and angry. Try your best not to do that. That is not suggested or implied. Yet, no one should be too surprised by certain reactions individuals have to their environment.
And our counselors, who I personally train and hire to answer questions, are not allowed to tell anyone what to do, either. The following are reactions men who stray have to their marriage. Some are self-created, while others are due to poor marriage behaviors on the part of their wife. You can use these as a way of gaining insight into your own situation. Very often, married men are online late at night while their wives are asleep. If they are online at odd hours, you should ask them why.
He is probably juggling a family life, work and other personal commitments along with his online life and has to schedule chatting with you based on the other not-so-secret parts of his life. His responses may be erratic because he tries to fit in a quick email amidst the other busy aspects of his day or as mentioned above, he might be very regular and follow a strict pattern so keep an eye out. Phone Habits In addition to the above signs to look out for, if you chat with the guy on the phone there are some other phone habits that you might want to pay close attention to.
Does his phone go to voicemail every time you call him? This is probably so he can call you back when it suits him.
If he does answer, does he talk in hushed tones or hang up abruptly? Almost a dead giveaway is when he refuses to share his phone number with you even though he has yours and you have known each other for some time.
Watch out for these signs. Avoid Free Dating Sites Nothing against free dating sites, but it's often found that married men frequent free dating sites to meet new women. This is obviously because they do not want to pay for a site and have it show up on their bank or credit card statement. Plus a married man is seldom looking for a long term relationship and they believe a casual fling is easier to find on a free dating site. If you are using one, be doubly careful.
One or two of these reasons alone cannot prove that you're chatting with a cheater.